How the score is calculated
The WHATEVERWEARE situationship score isn’t vibes. Each of your eight answers maps to a real construct from relationship science, gets a weight based on how much it predicts where things are heading, and the result is mapped onto a 0–100 scale. Here’s exactly what moves the number.
The eight inputs
- Are you official? (DTR) — Relational uncertainty · Not knowing where you stand is measurably corrosive — relational-uncertainty research links it to more jealousy, instability, depressive symptoms and even higher cortisol stress reactivity. NIH / PMC ↗weight ±18
- Green vs red flags — The 5:1 “magic ratio” · Dr. John Gottman’s lab found stable couples keep about five positive moments for every negative one (5:1), and used it to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. gottman.com ↗weight ±16
- Time in the gray area — Sunk-cost & talking-stage shelf-life · The longer you invest, the harder it is to leave — sunk-cost research shows people stay in unsatisfying relationships to avoid “wasting” what they’ve already put in. Springer ↗weight +6 / −14
- Reply speed — Perceived partner responsiveness · Decades of intimacy research define closeness as “perceived partner responsiveness” — feeling understood, validated, and cared for. A dismissive “k” is the opposite signal. rochester.edu ↗weight +8 / −12
- Met their friends — Social-network integration · Being folded into a partner’s real-life social world is one of the most reliable signals that a relationship is being treated as real — and predicts that it lasts. gottman.com ↗weight +10 / −9
- Who texts first — Equity & reciprocity · In attachment science, intermittent, unpredictable availability keeps the anxious attachment system “activated” — which is exactly why an inconsistent texter is so hard to quit. gottman.com ↗weight +6 / −7
- Story attention — Ambient attention signalweight +5 / −6
The Gottman 5:1 ratio does the heavy lifting
Green and red flags aren’t tallied — they’re ratioed against Dr. John Gottman’s “magic ratio.” Stable couples run about five positive moments per negative one, a pattern his lab used to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. So 5 green : 1 red beats 6 green : 4 red. Read the full guide →
Time is interpreted, not just counted
A short undefined phase is normal — so early on, time barely moves your score. But once you pass roughly two months with no label, every extra month becomes a penalty. That’s the sunk-cost trap: invested time makes people stay even when they shouldn’t. Read more →
Why a logistic curve
The weighted contributions are squashed through a logistic function so realistic answers spread smoothly across 0–100 instead of piling up at the extremes. In testing across 62,208 input combinations, 0% pegged at a perfect 100 — the score actually discriminates.
Our promise: no fabricated science
Every study and quote on this site is real and sourced — you can check each one. We never invent a study or put words in an expert’s mouth. See the full bibliography.