How is the situationship score calculated?

WHATEVERWEARE scores eight inputs — how long it's been going, who texts first, reply speed, whether you've met their friends, whether you've defined the relationship, story attention, and your green versus red flags. Each maps to a relationship-science construct (the Gottman 5:1 ratio, perceived partner responsiveness, relational uncertainty) and the weighted result is mapped onto a 0–100 scale.

What counts as a situationship?

A situationship is a romantic connection without an agreed label or defined commitment. In the calculator it shows up as ongoing time together plus high relational uncertainty — more than friends, but no one has said what you are.

Does a longer situationship score higher?

No. A short undefined phase is normal, but once you pass roughly two months with no label, more time lowers the score — prolonged ambiguity is treated as being stuck, not as progress.

Is the situationship calculator accurate?

It's grounded in real relationship research but built for fun and reflection, not diagnosis. The score reflects the answers you enter — change an honest answer and the number moves.

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WHAT ARE WE

The situationship calculator your group chat needs. Live below — no sign-up, no email, verdict in 8 seconds.

LIVE · SITUATIONSHIP-O-METER REC

YOUR SCORE

CERTIFIED SITUATIONSHIP

predicted ending: 3–7 months

01 · how long y'all been "talking"62 days

62 d

02 · who texts first morebe honest

03 · reply speedon average

04 · met their friends?irl, not on close friends

05 · are y'all official?like, on paper

06 · last viewed your storydon't lie

07 · red flags you ignoredtally up

ex still in profile pics · "still figuring stuff out" · blocked you once · won't post you · keeps app downloaded

08 · green flags they hitgive credit

remembers small things · plans w/ you 2+ weeks out · posts you · texts mom about you · therapy unprompted

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YOUR VERDICT · LIVE

🌶️

Certified situationship.

YOUR TYPE Certified Situationship —

You've been here two months. They text back in hours but won't put a label on it. The score says 42 — solidly in situationship territory. Predicted expiration: 3–7 months unless one of you DTRs.

3 red flags logged

2 green flags logged

"no labels" = -15

replies in hours = +8

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Why the number isn't random.

The WHATEVERWEARE score isn't vibes. Each of your eight answers maps to a real construct from relationship science — Gottman's ratio, perceived partner responsiveness, relational uncertainty — weighted by how much it actually predicts where a situationship is heading. Here's exactly what moves the number.

5 : 1

Dr. John Gottman's research found stable couples keep about five positive moments for every negative one. Your green-to-red flags are scored against that exact benchmark — the ratio, not the tally. So 5 green : 1 red beats 6 green : 4 red, every time. ▸ THE GOTTMAN “MAGIC RATIO”

Q · are y'all official?

Relational uncertainty

Doubt about “what are we” is the single loudest predictor of situationship stress. An explicit “no labels” is the heaviest red weight in the whole model.

Knobloch & Solomonweight ±18

Q · green vs red flags

The 5:1 magic ratio

We don't count flags, we ratio them. Five good moments per bad one is the stability benchmark — so the balance matters far more than the raw count.

Dr. John Gottmanweight ±16

Q · how long it's been

Sunk-cost & shelf-life

A few undefined weeks is just the talking stage. Past ~2 months with no label, every extra month lowers your score — that's being stuck, not building.

behavioral econ+6 / −14

Q · reply speed

Partner responsiveness

Feeling genuinely responded-to predicts closeness. A dismissive “k” costs you more than a slow-but-warm reply ever does.

Reis & Gable+8 / −12

Q · met their friends?

Social-network integration

Getting folded into their actual friend group is one of the strongest “this is real” signals there is. Being hidden from it is the opposite.

“going-public” research+10 / −9

Q · who texts first

Equity & reciprocity

Balanced effort is the healthiest pattern. If you're always the one texting first, the model reads it as lopsided investment.

equity theory+6 / −7

Q · story attention

Ambient attention

Watching every story is a cheap signal — nice, but it's the lightest finger on the scale. Never the whole verdict.

attention research+5 / −6

Built for the group chat — not a diagnosis. WHATEVERWEARE turns real relationship-science constructs into a fast, shareable score. It's a mirror, not a therapist. If something here actually stings, that's worth a real conversation — with them, or with someone you trust.

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