How is the situationship score calculated?

WHATEVERWEARE scores eight inputs — how long it's been going, who texts first, reply speed, whether you've met their friends, whether you've defined the relationship, story attention, and your green versus red flags. Each maps to a relationship-science construct (the Gottman 5:1 ratio, perceived partner responsiveness, relational uncertainty) and the weighted result is mapped onto a 0–100 scale.

What counts as a situationship?

A situationship is a romantic connection without an agreed label or defined commitment. In the calculator it shows up as ongoing time together plus high relational uncertainty — more than friends, but no one has said what you are.

Does a longer situationship score higher?

No. A short undefined phase is normal, but once you pass roughly two months with no label, more time lowers the score — prolonged ambiguity is treated as being stuck, not as progress.

Is the situationship calculator accurate?

It's grounded in real relationship research but built for fun and reflection, not diagnosis. The score reflects the answers you enter — change an honest answer and the number moves.

WHATEVERWEARE · the science

The sunk-cost trap: why you can’t leave the situationship

The sunk-cost fallacy is staying because of what you’ve already put in — time, effort, hope — rather than where it’s going. Research shows invested effort makes people stay in unsatisfying relationships, which is why WHATEVERWEARE turns “months in limbo” into a penalty, not a credit.

Grounded in real research · 1 sources · updated 2026-05-30

The research

A study in Current Psychology (2016) found that prior investment — especially money and effort — made people more likely to stay in a relationship, even an unhappy one. It mirrors the “investment model”: we avoid “wasting” what we’ve sunk in.

Why long + undefined is the danger zone

A few undefined weeks is normal. But months of it is where sunk cost compounds: the more you’ve invested in someone who won’t define things, the more leaving feels like a loss — even when staying costs more.

Commitment vs sunk cost

Healthy commitment looks forward (“I believe in what we’re building”). Sunk-cost thinking looks backward (“I’ve given too much to leave”). One is about possibility; the other is about not wasting the past.

📖 The sources

Sunk-cost in relationships (Current Psychology, 2016). The longer you invest, the harder it is to leave — sunk-cost research shows people stay in unsatisfying relationships to avoid “wasting” what they’ve already put in. Springer ↗

FAQ

How do I know if I’m staying out of sunk cost?

Ask whether you’d start this relationship today knowing what you know. If the only reason to stay is the time already spent, that’s sunk cost talking.

So… what are you?

Run the calculator — free preview, your verdict + Wrapped for 99¢.

Calculate my situationship →

Built for reflection, not diagnosis. If something here is heavy, talk to someone you trust or a professional.