How is the situationship score calculated?

WHATEVERWEARE scores eight inputs — how long it's been going, who texts first, reply speed, whether you've met their friends, whether you've defined the relationship, story attention, and your green versus red flags. Each maps to a relationship-science construct (the Gottman 5:1 ratio, perceived partner responsiveness, relational uncertainty) and the weighted result is mapped onto a 0–100 scale.

What counts as a situationship?

A situationship is a romantic connection without an agreed label or defined commitment. In the calculator it shows up as ongoing time together plus high relational uncertainty — more than friends, but no one has said what you are.

Does a longer situationship score higher?

No. A short undefined phase is normal, but once you pass roughly two months with no label, more time lowers the score — prolonged ambiguity is treated as being stuck, not as progress.

Is the situationship calculator accurate?

It's grounded in real relationship research but built for fun and reflection, not diagnosis. The score reflects the answers you enter — change an honest answer and the number moves.

WHATEVERWEARE · the science

The Gottman 5:1 ratio, explained

The Gottman 5:1 ratio is the “magic ratio” from Dr. John Gottman’s research: stable, happy couples maintain about five positive interactions for every negative one. His lab used the pattern to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy — and WHATEVERWEARE scores your green-to-red flags against it.

Grounded in real research · 1 sources · updated 2026-05-30

Where the number comes from

Starting in the 1970s, Gottman and Robert Levenson filmed couples resolving a conflict, then followed up years later. From the balance of positive vs negative moments during conflict, they predicted who would divorce with over 90% accuracy.

It’s a ratio, not a tally

This is why we score flags as a ratio. Five green to one red beats six green to four red — the proportion of warmth to friction is what tracks stability, not the raw count of good things.

The worst sign

Gottman’s research singles out contempt — sarcasm, eye-rolling, disdain — as the single strongest predictor of a relationship ending. It’s the negative that costs the most positives to offset.

📖 The sources

Gottman & Levenson — the “magic ratio”. Dr. John Gottman’s lab found stable couples keep about five positive moments for every negative one (5:1), and used it to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. gottman.com ↗

FAQ

What is the Gottman magic ratio?

About 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction during conflict, associated with stable, satisfied relationships.

So… what are you?

Run the calculator — free preview, your verdict + Wrapped for 99¢.

Calculate my situationship →

Built for reflection, not diagnosis. If something here is heavy, talk to someone you trust or a professional.